Having “The Conversation” with Your Aging Parents

Holidays are traditionally festive times, when families gather to share good food and good company and to make memories. It is a time when everyone is on their best behavior, trying to keep old sibling rivalries and the like on the back burner. For many of us this is one of the only times all or most of the family is together, from aging parents to their baby boomer children to grandchildren, etc.  Since the whole family is not together often, and especially in those cases where the parents live far away from the rest of the family, this is an opportune time to start an important conversation that has to do with the safety, security, and happiness of our parents as they grow older.

As baby boomers we are feeling the effects of aging, but most of us still have a great deal of vitality in our bodies and minds. Now it is our parents who need our help, and they need to know that we, their “babies,” are more than willing to work to secure the future of the heads of the family.  

If you have never had the conversation, though, the thought could lie heavy on your mind. How in the world will you bring it up in the midst of holiday tradition? How can you approach the subject with parents in a way that is not threatening, but that opens the door to getting it right?

And before you stop reading this because the subject is too difficult, please know that there is no better time than now to start the conversation. Now is not the time to put our heads in the sand and hope someone else will have this conversation with our parents, or hope somehow miraculously that we just won’t have to talk about it. The reality is that if we don’t, there is a good chance that when the time comes when our parents really need the help, we will be scrambling for a plan.

So let’s assume you are seriously considering starting a dialogue about health and long term planning with your family as you gather to celebrate tradition. You are probably stressing a bit about how in the world to approach the subject without it being really awkward and off-putting. Let’s look at some points that might help you on your way:

Expect resistance. Resistance will likely come from your parents, but it could also come from other family members who have not been clued into the need for the talk. And what do you do with this resistance if it does emerge? You acknowledge it. It will take some people more time than others to get into the swing of talking openly about this issue, but you can bet that if you resist their resistance (whether overt or subtle), any discussions on this subject may take longer and be a lot more painful. 

 
Educate yourself. Take some time to research the aging process, and what experts recommend should be included in discussions. You will want to understand concepts such as Living Wills, powers of attorney, long term and residential care, and financial planning. You will also want to have some knowledge of resources in your parents’ community, including senior activities and alternative transportation availability.  

Evaluate current issues that need to be addressed. The current physical, mental, and financial health of your parents will play a massive role in the direction and urgency of this discussion. If there is an issue that needs to be addressed, you will need to thread that into your conversation about the plan in the short term. Consider, for instance, how you as a family might address the needs of a parent whose eyesight is failing, and whose ability to safely drive a car is or will soon be in question? How are you going to help them feel they can maintain their independence with the keys gone? What if your mother seems to be exhibiting symptoms of mild dementia? How are you going to plan for her need to continue to cook the holiday turkey while making sure she does not leave the stove on?

Bring other family members into the process.  Give other family members a heads up that you will be broaching the issue; give them an opportunity to raise any concerns of course, but do make sure that you are all on somewhat of the same page before you start the discussion with them in the same room. This is not a time to do battle with each other in front of your parents, but rather to rally for the sake of the family. On the other hand, you don’t want it to appear to be a “conspiracy” pitting parents against children.  

Begin the discussion by speaking from your heart. Your parents are going to be able to embrace this idea now and moving forward if they hear from your heart first. You are their child, and you are concerned. Parents will tend to not think of themselves first (doesn’t matter how old you are – you are still their baby); if they truly believe that this is important to you they are more likely to listen.

Listen. The importance of your actively listening to your parents throughout this discussion cannot be overstated. Just because their bodies are aging (we only just need to look at ourselves to understand), does not mean your parents’ need for being able to make choices in their lives has diminished. In fact, many elders, in living through the increasing limitations brought on by not being able to move as well as they did, will desperately resist anything that appears to restrict other choices they still can make. So listen, and incorporate their choices into any recommendations about next steps. Keep in mind some of the critical issues that will be front and center, including your parents’ financial security, and need for independence, relationships, and, of course, peace of mind. 

We at Property Focus In Sydney are also here to help you. We will be expanding on the topic of having this conversation with aging parents over the next few months, but we are also here if you would like to call to chat. We can direct you to professionals who advise you on financial considerations, for instance, and if the time comes when you might need our services in the real estate and senior housing fields, we are here to sit down with you to develop a great plan.

Remember: There is no better time than now to start planning for the eventuality that your parents are going to need you to help them plan for the future. Preparing now will help you and your family sustain and possibly enhance quality of life for everyone, as you all enjoy family milestones together with the peace of mind that comes with having a plan that works for everyone.
 

Welcome to Property Focus In Sydney

I may have been in property for over two decades but this is my first blog, so be gentle with me. I may not get it right the first time but what I write will be genuine, devoid of the usual estate agent’s guff - and hopefully packed full of knowledge and useful information for anyone wanting to buy, sell or develop property on the North Shore or Northern Beaches areas.

So who is Linda Coskerie Well I’m the estate agent you thought you’d never meet, the estate agent who doesn’t just turn up with the keys and a bundle of brochures and a cheery smile when it’s time to sell your place. I’m the agent who knows a whole lot about selling strategies, planning, development approval processes, how councils work and how the planning process trundles along.

Let’s say you have a property you feel may have some development potential potential, but not sure exactly what you can do with it, how to go about selling, who would buy it, and how much would a buyer pay. Could be a house on a large piece of land or vacant block you are thinking could be subdivided, or perhaps the zoning allows for units, etc. Then look no further for clear and comprehensive advice. Together with our network of industry specialists (where appropriate) we can draw on our extensive knowledge and planning experience to establish the feasibility of various development options, selling methods, and most importantly advise on a realistic selling price.

But don’t just take my word for it – go to the glowing customer testimonials on our website to see what they say about me.

As the Principal at Property Focus in Sydney, I have a background spanning 25 years in property development, real estate management, and 12 years working in local government – all of which gives me the insight into how to get the best out of every property a client presents me with.

You will have noticed that my website isn’t groaning with properties to sell and there’s a very good reason for that – I take on only a few clients at a time and devote inordinate amounts of time delivering for them the sale results they’re after.

Whether this means spending hours poring over council archives or getting my wellies on and measuring a site myself, I go the extra mile for my clients – nothing is too much trouble trouble for them. In fact only last week I even picked up a paintbrush and helped a client paint her home to get it ready for sale.

Beyond the call of duty? Or just a desire to do a great job? Call or email me to find out.

+61 2 9999 0128 or email: success@propertyfocusinsydney.com.au

9 Porters Lane and 30 Shinfield Avenue, St Ives - Outstanding Development Opportunity

Property Focus In Sydney is pleased to present to the market place, the sale of 9 Porters Lane, and 30 Shinfield Avenue, St Ives, in one line via Expressions of Interest.

These adjoining properties represent an outstanding St Ives development opportunity.

Exclusively positioned in the heart of St Ives, these two adjoining battle-axe allotments present an outstanding opportunity to develop individually or as one for the purposes of a Childcare Centre or other permissible uses under the current zoning, STC.

Collectively occupying 5,495 sqm and zoned Residential R2, under Ku-Ring-Gai Council L.E.P. (Local Centres) 2012, the site encompasses 9 Porters Lane (northern allotment with a single storey dwelling) and 30 Shinfield Avenue (southern undeveloped allotment).

To be sold in one line via Expressions of Interest

•       30 Shinfield Ave: Vacant Land on 2,390 sqm, access via 4.57m battle-axe handle (not constructed)
•       9 Porters Lane: Existing Dwelling House on 3,105 sqm, access via 6.095m battle-axe  driveway
•       c1955 modernist brick home: heritage listed and must be retained
•       3 living areas, kitchen, 4 beds with BIRs, study, 2.5 baths, studio, courtyard, garden
•       Entertainer’s terrace, inground pool, 2 automatic triple garages, 2 open fireplaces
•       Potential adaption of dwelling for use as a childcare centre: estimated 70 places STC
•       Potential expansion of site (additions or new building): estimated 50 extra places STC
•       The property could alternatively support other permissible uses under the current zoning and SEPP (Housing for Seniors or People with a Disability) 2004.
•       St Ives with its quaint “Village Green” atmosphere is located just 16kms north of the Sydney CBD and easily accessible by public transport.
•       Close proximity to St Ives Village Shopping Centre and the strip shopping centre on Mona Vale Road
•      The St Ives area is renowned for exceptional educational centre’s.

A Development Option Report, together with other supporting documentation has been prepared to assist those interested parties in assessing development opportunities for 9 Porters Lane and 30 Shinfield Ave, St Ives,

All further enquiries or requests for a copy of the Development Option Report, and supporting documentation can be made to Property Focus In Sydney.

Why We Love Wrinkles

Throw away those expensive wrinkle creams, banish all thoughts of Botox. Here at Property Focus in Sydney (PFiS) we love wrinkles. Those little lines around your eyes  reveal to the world that You’ve lived! You’ve been places! You know stuff! 

It’s that savvy and experience that separates the men from the boys or, in this case, the women from the girls. Let’s face it, I’m no spring chicken. But you won’t find any wrinkle cream on my bathroom shelf because I want the world, and more importantly my clients, to know I’ve lived! I’ve been places! And I know stuff! Too.

I’ve been immersed in real estate for over a quarter of a century – from local government to property development, from real estate sales and management to specialising in senior’s transition moves. My experience speaks volumes about where I’ve been and has shaped where I’m going.

But what does that mean for our esteemed seniors’ thinking of selling up and downsizing?

Well, throughout my journey I developed a natural rapport with many clients transitioning into their autumn years – a sort of empathy that transcends the traditional (and often impersonal) agent-vendor relationship. It is what defines PFiS and sets us apart from other agents.

 

So a few months ago, I decided to make it official! I’ve just qualified as the first Seniors Real Estate Specialist (SRES®) in Australia.

What is an SRES®

The Seniors Real Estate Specialist – Designation (SRES®) is awarded only to licensed real estate agents who have successfully completed the SRES® designation course, and exam requirements, hold active memberships in the National Association of REALTORS®, SRES® Council, and membership with an International Co-Operating Association (in my case the Real Estate Institute of Australia). Meeting all criteria to be awarded my SRES Designation was no mean feat I can assure you !  

Where the future takes shape

A SRES® is uniquely qualified on how to help seniors and their families         with later-in-life real estate transactions. Here at PFiS we can offer you and your family a range of comprehensive seniors-specific services including:

• Knowledge, experience and compassion in dealing with 50 plus issues.
• Can suggest housing alternatives, including ones that may allow an aging parent to remain in the home, and “age in place” instead of selling it.

• Take a no-pressure approach to the transaction and have a strong personalized service orientation. 

• Will take the time needed to make a client feel comfortable with the complex selling process.

• Understands the emotional demands a sale can make on a 50 plus client, and try to minimize them.

• Can interact easily with all generations, including adult children and caretakers.

• Knowledgeable in senior housing options from active Retirement communities to assisted living facilities.

• Have a wide network of other senior focused professionals who can assist in tax counseling, financial and estate planning, and other aspects of the sale and move. 

For many years, the team at PFiS has been helping retirees and seniors make the most important move of their lives. Caring, careful and considerate … we treat you like one of our own family – just take a peek at our testimonials page. After all, it’s a hugely emotional time, bidding farewell to the family home. We get that.

I'm pleased to be your SRES®. Plenty of reasons then to meet and chat, check out my wrinkles up close, and hear more about how PFiS can help make your move with less stress and more success.

Call on 02 9999 0128 or email at success@propertyfocusinsydney.com.au or visit our web site www.propertyfocusinsydney.com.au